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6 Responses
LAME!!! Would it be asking too much to see something more exciting than a freaking pod race??? It wasn’t that great in the movies…why the hell would I pay almost $70 a person to see it again…in 3D!?!?!?!
It is a little confusing and hard to follow. A bit informal, too, and you need to make the point of view more clear and the introductions more attention grabbing and clear.
It is a great story, but it hints at some fantastic four ideas. Some people might think you stole the idea.
It's a great piece, in general, with some style mistakes and a lot of editing to be done. But you're well on your way!
Good luck@!
pretty good plot but VERY CONFUSING TO READ! i had no idea who was telling the story. you keep switching back and forth between first person and omniscent. pick one! either use the all knowing narrorator or pick a character to tell the strory. first you start out with omniscent then it switches to priscilla then back to omniscent and it keeps going back and forth and for all i know other people were narrorating it throughout the story as well. figure out who's telling the story and then edit it and i'd be happy to tell you my thoughts again. i hope i wasn't too harsh but it is a big problem. it is a pretty good story, it's just hard to understand.
Health Minster announcement as early as tomorrow
West Bengal Council of Higher Secondary Education (WBCHSE) Class 12th (Higher Secondary) Examination Results 2011 will be announced on 4th June, 2011 at 11:00 Hrs. WBCHSE Result 2011 available after official announcement. WB HS Result 2011 published today at 11:00 on the official website. West Bengal Council of HigherSecondary Education (WBCHSE) Class-XII for General (New & Old Syllabus), Vocational, External Exam Result 2011are made available in the University website: WBCHSE Result 2011 : West Bengal Higher Secondary Education Class 12th Result 2011 available following websites : http://www.wbresults.nic.in/ http://www.emametc.com/ http://www.clickcollegestreet.com/ http://www.examresults.net/ To get WBCHSE West Bengal Council of Higher Secondary Education Class XII General (New/Old Scheme) : Click Here To…
pretty good plot but VERY CONFUSING TO READ! i had no idea who was telling the story. you keep switching back and forth between first person and omniscent. pick one! either use the all knowing narrorator or pick a character to tell the strory. first you start out with omniscent then it switches to priscilla then back to omniscent and it keeps going back and forth and for all i know other people were narrorating it throughout the story as well. figure out who's telling the story and then edit it and i'd be happy to tell you my thoughts again. i hope i wasn't too harsh but it is a big problem. it is a pretty good story, it's just hard to understand.